Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Those comments....let's get to the bottom of this!

Yeeoowzer, those were some heavy comments on my last post. I never meant to irritate anyone and wow, I was kinda surprised to read all that I did. Thank you to my friends who back me, you know me and I appreciate your kind words.

I do have to say that some of the comments really made me think. I do complain and whine a lot and this was something I was supposed to be working on. However, when I get upset enough over something, I vent. I thought I was clear in my last few posts that I was venting about a few individuals who treated us without respect when we were trying to be polite and keep our cool.
I was not venting about a profession. It never even crossed my mind. 

My choice of words, well, I am not the best with words, I think in pictures and I am often at a loss for words, conveying my thoughts is tough and writing them out, well, I guess I am not so good at that either.

I do seem to be quite good at boiling blood however, yikes!

There was no excuse for our treatment in the second hospital. The kicker is, despite the policy at the hospital and the shortage of beds this is what happened.
We were allowed to stay in one room, with one crib and one mommy bed, they never moved the bed down the hall from the room where Ethan was supposed to stay therefore freeing his  bed and room. However, because of their policy they left the room in his name and all his food was sent to it. The room was left empty and I had to trek down the hall at every meal to get his jello and broth.

When we left the staff was scrambling to clean his unused room and get ours clean so that they could handle the waiting kids from the ER. 
This policy needs to be looked at!
Anyway enough about that. I do have to say that the doctor's and nurses here are under a lot of pressure and are far underpaid for what they do.

We did have some great nurses as well. I did not blog about them and I should have. I guess they provided the standard of care that I thought would be the norm and what I usually see.

While in the ER at the General the care was above and beyond. We were checked in on regularly. Nurses offered to watch the kids if I needed a break but I declined because I could see they were busy. I did not want to burden them with little nothings.  There was a suicidal man behind the curtain across from us, a woman with strange pain shooting down her legs and weird blotches on one side of us, and another woman who had swallowed a pin and was pooping blood on the other side of us.
I had packed a few sandwiches, bottled water and some fruit because I knew that ER's can be crazy and we might be waiting all day.
As it was we were in the ER for about 6 hours waiting for a bed. 

One particular nurse, bless his heart brought the kids stickers... 

and popsicle's..... 

and then showed up with a boxed lunch for me. 

I was so grateful! This was way more than I ever expected. They were so busy, and yet he thought of my needs even when we were trying to be so quiet and stay out of their hair.
My heart sent up a prayer of thanks.

They were so wonderful to us. If I ever see any of them again I will hug them tight!  They really where great individuals and cared about what they did. They were passionate, and
I thanked them over and over before we left. I knew that they might not feel appreciated for what they do on a regular basis, similar to the Bible story about the lepers that Jesus healed and  only one came back to thank Him, well I wanted them to know I was thankful.

When we were transferred, we drove our own kids as I did not want to take out our car seats to put in the ambulance because it would inconvenience us. I also knew that the kids had been getting the hydration they needed for the last 6 hours and they would be fine capped off for 20 min's. Therefore freeing up much needed ambulances for major emergencies.
I never had crazy demands and always tried to be as polite and understanding as possible. This is why I was so shocked to be attacked by the nurses booking  us in at the next hospital.

I do NOT think nurses are stupid! I was just really upset at a few that treated us so badly. 
I admire nurses for what they put up with every day. I don't think I would be able to handle even a few minutes in their shoes. This is why, despite insisting that I be with both children while feeling belittled by this one nurse I stayed quiet. I understood she was most likely stressed. I never bothered them for water or a shower break, or basically anything for myself. I tried to stay out of their way as much as possible, so they could attend to the important things.

That is why I vented here. I thought it was safe. I guess I should have conveyed the whole story better, but somehow I always expect people to read my mind. Big oops!
If it wasn't for amazing nurses we wouldn't have a health link to call for advice, there would be no one to do my kids immunizations, no one to give the much needed IV's to get their fluids up, and to count the poops the kids took to say they were healthy enough to go home.
Nurses are amazing, they give of themselves till they are spent and can hardly walk due to exhaustion and heel spurs. 

I am sad to say that since living here we have had a few rough health care experiences. I think this just goes to show how much strain there  is on the understaffed and underpaid profession.
Nurses, you really are amazing!

Thank you for what you do, for what you provide and thank you for your patience. I get emotional just thinking about the good and great experiences I have experienced.
The popsicle's, the stickers, the boxed lunch, and the little tickles to cheer up the kids. You break my heart with gratitude. 

Looking back I should have focused on these incidents, not the one negative point. I am still learning and growing. 
The picture is so often larger than what is portrayed, yet with little sleep and no time I get cranky and think about the rough spots. 

The fact that this one little incident with a few individuals got some of you so riled up, well, you should know that there are  stress points that sometimes break, this time it happened with us, in this one isolated incident.

As for those few nurses who were so rude to us, I am sticking pins in my voodoo dolls right now, just kidding, baww-haa-ha, they probably just need to get laid!

What I really want to do is to thank you nurses who work your butts off, you know who you are, you go above and beyond to provide the kind of care you would give to family despite the treatment you get from crazy patients.

You really deserve honor and respect, thank you from the bottom of my heart!


Hannah said...

Being the first to comment on your last post, I wasn't even aware of the commenting that happened afterwards! Just went back to read it all. I'm shocked at how many people have things to say but can't bring themselves to put their name to it ...

Anyway, I think this post clearly explains that you didn't intend to insult all nurses, and you have focused on some of the wonderful, positive experiences you had too. Which is great! They sound like wonderful caring workers.
You are still right about not deserving to be spoken to rudely by those other nurses. Nobody deserves that.
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you were "venting". You were tired and upset, and of course you are going to be thinking mostly about the bad things and not the good. But given a couple of days, some time to think, some hindsight, and you've come to remember the nice things and shared them too.
So chin up, my dear! You've been through hell and back and I can only imagine how stressful it all was for you. I do hope that you're feeling a lot better now and that the kids are still doing well.

BeachMama said...

Anna, sending you a few more Hugs :). As this is your blog, you should not have to explain yourself for venting. We all need a chance and this was your place and space.

You have a kind heart and anyone who knows you would know that you were just one stressed out Mommy.

And I for one have never noticed any whining, I only ever seem to see how much you get done and do with your kids that puts some of us to shame.

Hugs again :)

Glenda - Minnesota said...

You just go on being Anna, the wonderful Mother and wife! Ü

Badness Jones said...

Anna! I'm so sorry your babies were so sick! Most nurses are amazing, but I still remember being in the hospital overnight at 2 1/2 years old, and crying for my mommy, and having a nurse tell me to "Shut up. You're not even that sick." In retrospect I can see that she was probably overworked, and dealing with children much worse off than me, but for that memory to stick in my mind....stupid nurse.

Lisa said...

I posted yesterday and made comment #8, the list.

My name is Lisa, I don't see what difference it makes giving my name, for I am still anonymous in your eyes.

This is your blog and you are entitled to vent. It is also a public blog and anyone can read it and make comments.

Yesterday a young Mother that is battling brain cancer had to have her third surgery. She had to have her forehead removed due to the bone being infected to the point it was rotting and causing her 24/7headaches. They grafted from her back. It will be MONTHS before her forehead can be rebuilt.

A young Father lost his beloved Wife late last year to breast cancer and is raising 3 young children.

My Best friend is battling skin cancer that has spread and her time is limited.

I normally enjoy reading your blog but there was something you said yeserday that struck a cord in me. Please accept my apology.

Please try to let the little stuff go and enjoy what you have, you are blessed.

The young Mom that had her forehead removed yesterday......I don't know how to word it but I want to say that is "hell and back"....although she is a long way from back.

Please do not take what I said personally.


Karen MEG said...

Anna, wow, I haven't been around in a few days and look at the furor.
I guess it's one of the downfalls of blogging. I too, like Beachmama, am annoyed that you felt the need to explain your vent, as even though it is a public space, it still is the one authored by you, about your life. If people don't like it, they don't have to read it. Anonymous comments do annoy me too; to your point lisa, coming back and commenting and putting a name does, at least in my eyes, give a little more respect, credence in the blogosphere. The other way just seems like people are hiding, while the blogger is so exposed.

And obviously Anna, you had been under a lot of stress, with young children, in a very short period of time. Let me ask those nurses who felt slighted whether they've never, even in their minds, thought that someone was "stupid" during periods of frustration and feeling disrespected themselves. I myself have huge respect for nurses (my mother is one); but like any profession, there are good and bad, and some that are better suited to other professions.

I'm a huge fan of your blog, and was shocked by the recent activity. I don't find that you whine much at all, you have such a cheery atmosphere on your blog and are rarely disrespectful. I guess it's easy for people who haven't been following you to take a single post at face value.

And Dave, you rock. What a great husband and father you are. Anna is truly fortunate.

Karen MEG said...

oops, I should have said "never" disrespectful.

mamatucci said...

We have all vented, including the nurses with comments. Whether it be about a cashier, a teacher,a doctor, the doctor.etc....
When I was a cashier customers could be very rude and take it out on the employee. But there are many cashiers that are rude to the customers. It doesnt make one more right than the other.
My daughter is having problems with her teacher( as are many other children in her class}. Should I not vent about this one women for all the other great ones.NO,just because I find her inadequate doesnt mean my daughter hasnt not had some wonderful teachers.
If you cant vent here, then where?

Anonymous said...

I am very proud of your comment! You expressed yourself very rationally and allowed everyone to get a clearer picture of the story. I love you, Anna and my grandchildren. You will always be there to protect and stand by them.
Lots of love.

Sleepynita said...

Good recap Anna, but don't you feel like you did a little but-kissing here to calm the anonymous people? I don't think you should have to rationalize one simple word, it is your blog - whine if you want to. Bu tit is nice to see you give the people who did help you a shout out.

I would like to point out that there are more then Nurses and Doctors in a hospital that do "the work" though it seems like every other profession gets forgotten or lumped into "Nursing" (which to some people in medicine it as hurtful being called a Nurse as it is for a Canadian to be called an American by a foreigner - we all take extreme pride in our individual profession). It could just as easily been a crabby booking clerk that ruined your stay (because our booking clerk is That. Nasty. to people).

-with love from the BioMedical Engineer and Polysomnographer - just another medical caregiver.

Angella said...

I cannot believe all of the drama going on over here while I've been dealing with a sick family!

I do not think you were out of line, and there is a name for people who post rude, anonymous comments.


Not worth your time :)

Glad everyone is home and on the mend!

Kami said...

Aw, man. I just went and read some of the comments on the last post. My heavens. Dave is my new hero. I was scrolling to the bottom to remind people that Canada does not have "free" healthcare when I found Dave's comment.

A rule of thumb for those people who like to hide behind anonymous comments... if you don't feel comfortable signing your name to it, DON"T SAY IT.

Anna, we who know you, love you and know that you don't only focus on the negative. You are a wonderful Mom who was protecting her cubs and doing a great job too!


Misty said...

I agree..... a blog is a public forum in which to discuss any topic of your choice..... and as for the comments.... people have a right to leave them, YOU have the right to DELETE them. It's your space, alone, kid.

And, seriously, I have more days then I'd like to count or admit that I un-load my mind, in front of innocent by standers and all. Don't be too hard on yourself.

nicole said...

I love the wren painting...I posted it on my blog. Thank you so much.

Look at all the hits you are getting with the big old comment war you have going on!!! Hang in there.