Ohhh, baby!

Today we got to go see and hear the new baby's heart beat for the first time.....and also saw so much more!

Baby Mc-Jr. at 13 weeks and one day.

Due date is on Kaitlyn's birthday!

Oh, gotta edit to add.

The technician asked me if this was my first pregnancy. I said no. She asked what number this was. It felt so odd to say that it is my fifth! Me! Pregnant again for the 5th time! That is just crazy. Not even 5 years ago if you told me that I would be pregnant this many times already I probably would have spit or cursed or something. Five years ago today I was throwing up and super ill with my pregnancy with Kaitlyn, wow!

What a pile of little blessings since then!

And seeing that little baby today swimming around, boxing the air and kicking me like crazy almost made me cry, cry for the ones that get aborted. They are such tiny (only 7 cm's so far) little miracles but still so baby!!

It was just so cool to see it this morning, kinda makes the whole thing that much more real and that much more wonderful and crazy and scary all at the same time!

My sleepless nights

For a few nights here and there I haven't been sleeping. OK, maybe more than that, I would need better sleep to remember.

Sometimes I think I am too tired to sleep, sometimes it is that a little person or three wake up through the night and the moment my head hits the pillow another takes a turn. And recently it has been the pregnancy, I think, it has seemed random and weird. Throws a loop in my day and makes me irritated, I might as well be painting!

But the most usual times I don't sleep is just because my mind is so busy creating and thinking and dissecting everything. I like to know, understand and make sense of things, all kinds of things, close, far, wacky and normal, spiritual and unspiritual.

As a child I used to dream the the world stopped and stood still when I wasn't looking. That it only moved where I went. I was a dreamer and probably always will be. It is safe and lovely.

A friend twittered me this the other day and it made my moment! Later!

A little irritable so you get the surface

I kinda don't feel like talking, don't feel like saying anything that pertains to anything that has been going on. Some of you already that we had to go out of town for almost two weeks to see Dave's mom who is still in the ICU in Calgary. So, I don't feel like talking about it, nuf said. We are drained. We love her and want her to get better.

Instead I really want to start telling you about my crazy spiritual journey but at the same time have no energy to actually think it through at the moment and make sense of it for you.

So, how about some fluff stuff.

I am soooooo game for fluffy surface stuff that takes me away to some other place. A happy sappy and easy don't think too much place. I am tired of thinking. Tired of everything. I get annoyed easily. Why are so many people stupid and waste their time on useless dumb stuff?

See, annoyed, you don't want to hang out with me right now. I don't want to either, maybe I just need a good night of sleep.

I did start journaling today. I like it.

Wow, I sound empty tonight.

Ya, so let's get on with fluffy stuff, I can do that without thinking and without coffee, or jelly beans, oh wait, nope, I still need jelly beans. Craving them right now and I tried to have a bowl of chowder instead and I still NEED jelly beans.

Be right back.

Ok. Mmmm, I had a black jelly bean, mmmm........

Not feeling so good now, maybe jelly beans weren't such a good choice. Should have had a grapefruit.

Getting on with it!

Cuteness.

A month ago now. Fun day. Except for the cold.

A dude who had no interest in skates.

This is the way to get around on the ice!

This little rink in behind the houses near us is awesome. They flood around the trees in the park and it is so quiet. Perfect.

I'm a rock star....

And on the odd lazy day a gamer, a gamer with motivation. You would never know it to look at this but she likes to get it right so she can move on to the next level with everything completed.

Soooooo like her dad!

boingggg........weow......weoooooww.......

Once again, no picture of me, well besides this lousy one. I am going to give Kaitlyn my point and shoot, that should fix everything, well at least you might see my knees or elbows or an ear or something.

"Yipeeee ky ai!" (I have no idea how to spell those sounds!)

"Howdy mam."

A painting to pass the time while in Calgary. Inspired by a photo my in-laws took in Cuba and gifted to them.

I used to have this dream of someday having all our children standing in a line with pretty dresses and suits. In this dream they would stand there and sweetly play instruments and sing.

Ha, ha, good thing I am not the type to hold on to dreams and am a go with the flow-er!

Because it is just not in their nature. At all.

They are natural born rockers. Don't ask us to come up front at a church with a sweet little diddy.

We might just knock your socks off.

I swear I did not teach them this.

Really.

I love em for it!

Hudson. We have had an interesting time with him over the last few weeks. Trying goats milk, formula (ugh) and wishing I had more milk. This is what has happened every time I hit my second trimester in a pregnancy. My milk cuts down to a third and trickles to colostrum.

Fortunately he is so easy going that we has adjusted and stayed happy. And started sitting himself up, shooting me with an eggplant and scootching everywhere on his belly and toes.

And what else.....

It if February! And a great excuse to make heart crafts. We have some lined up for the next few days but this one I was pretty excited about. The kids love to sew and when SAJ posted her link to her craft of the month we had to give it a shot. She is so good at thinking for me. Thank you SAJ, we had a blast with this one!

(she was also the one who has inspired me to start doodling in my journal again.....thank you for that too....since I haven't gotten around to telling you that yet)

Ethan then wanted to do another has way. Mini.

Be mine?

"Mooooooooommmmmmm...."

"mom?"

"Love you!"

And then Kaitlyn wanted to do her version of a mini string heart valentine.

Love her!

And that rounds out my fluffy stuff.

I am still a little antsy and wish that I could just say what I think all the time. However I don't like to offend and cause pain, or stir the pot. I know some people have no problem doing this, I just do for some reason. I know I am not perfect either but I just want to say things sometimes. I know stuff and see stuff and wish I could scream. Maybe I need some sun.

Maybe I should not read blogs, go out, go on facebook, or twitter or talk to people until the summer. Maybe I need to listen to the Beatles and forget everything heavy in my brain for a while.

"Love is all you need.....all you need is love...."

Photo shoot, a sort of surprise, family time and that reno

I think this will be the only shot of me this time around and considering this batch of pictures spans four weeks it is kinda sad. I should really pass over the camera every once in a while or at least step in front of a mirror.

So, it has been a while. Again. I know.

And yes I totally have an excuse. I am soooo tired.

Why?

Well.....this kinda crazy and unplanned and surprising thing happened.

We found out I am pregnant again. 8 weeks along now. Still the early iffy stages.

I know crazy. Kaitlyn and Ethan are 12 month apart and then there is three years and then there is Hudson. Now the next one is due in the summer and should be about 14 months from Hudson. I am now rather ill feeling and tired. Everything stinks!! Seriously grossly!

Anyway, that is my excuse for now. So on with the last month. Kinda late but we did get out and enjoy some festive stuff like a horse draw wagon ride and hot chocolate and then there was this little stable scene that you could get dressed up and get you photo taken in. Kinda silly but Kaitlyn was quite excited so I obliged.

And after our shot I got one of her with a friend. Much better!

And then I did my first photo shoot that was not of my own children. I am not a photographer. I tool around and I take a lot of pictures and would love to get more education than the roughly 5 hours that I have gotten but I am not the real deal.

However I have a friend who is and she invited me to come and shoot them. They would set up and all I had to do was shoot.

It was interesting. I realize now how much actually goes into a shoot with a pro, they actually check hair wisps and shadows and poses and I am sure a whack load of other stuff.

I just took pictures.

Thank goodness they are an adorable family!

Here are a few from that day.

They are fun and forgiving, I love that! And then she took the RAW files and edited them herself (I don't have those ones) and they look way better. When I saw one of them I didn't even recognize it as the shot I had taken! She has some mad editing skills!

And what a cool experience for me, wooooo.....

And now on with some Christmas photos.

It was a beautiful and very cold day, perfect conditions for sun dogs.

And ah, I got a new lens for Christmas. Look at the crispness!

Cheese cake made by my sister in law, she rocks them out!

Back to the lens. Sorry.

The focus, and color, mmmm.

I am liking this lens, really really liking it!

My sister and Hudson. Love.

Desert, this one made by my sister.

My brother loves his wife's baking.

Another brother who eats it all up too.

Emily. Cookie brain girl.

At six months Hudson started the hands and knees rock though he has only gone backwards so far.

After Christmas we ventured out to meet a relatives new (3 months and nearly the same size as Hudson!) baby.

Levi.

(Not his parents here, grandparents)

I am sooo saving this one!

With his mom and dad. Adorable.

Hudson.

Such a flirt.

Sweet friends.

Christmas at the Ledge.

Taylor. (a friends little one) His eyes are amazing and lashes, ahhhh!

Ethan getting a ride from his bud Hayden.

A rare moment where they are actually playing together and not scaring or not sharing.

I hope there are a lot more moments like this one.

I love this girl. She is so creative and whimsical. Not the gentler of my children but I am fine with this. She is endlessly entertaining and thoughtful.

Oh, I didn't mention something. We were also all sick over Christmas. It started with the kids Dave and I got colds the week before Christmas and kept them right over the holidays.

By new years we were all feeling back to normal-ish and then Hudson suddenly got sick.

New years day Daves dad and stepmom were coming to visit and from early that morning he had developed a bit of a cough and a fever and just seemed to go downhill from there.

By the time Daves parents came in the early afternoon Hudsons breathing was off and he was choke coughing. I bundled him up and left for the clinic.

They were all closed for the holiday and I ended up at the hospital. Joy.

The lineup started at the door and took 20-30 minutes just to get to the triage nurse. The waiting room was full, extremely full and that scared me.

However Hudson seemed to know when to cough and not breath right and they rushed us right in and got him hooked up on steroids to open his airways. His fever had spiked to 40 while there too and so they treated that and gave him an atibiotic.

Poor child he was overloaded with the drugs, though it did make him happy.

The first drugs of any kind to ever enter his little body.

We ended up spending the night, getting blood work done and x-rays. But by the next day the cough was broken up and they let us go.

He is still on the mend a week later now but very much back to his normal self.

Sometimes I am really thankful for modern medicine and the wonderful staff at the General.

I will not say a word about that other hospital in town though, remember that time I did?

Ya.

And that kind of sums up what I have been up to lately, well minus this crazy spiritual ride I have been on but I cannot even explain that roller coaster right now, I don't every really understand what is going on there.

We'll just leave that.

And then there is this other project that Dave has been working on.

Our cottage reno. The reno that is supposed to turn the cottage into our new house.

He has gutted it. Created temporary support walls while he makes the bulkheads and beams and posts (or something like that, this is not my area) to open up the space and give us a panoramic lake view. Eventually.

And you know how renos go. Especially when they involve old places with two additions already done to em. There are a lot of interesting snags.

Like multiple layers of carpets and lino and carpet and pots in the walls and hidden windows and doors and stucco and cement under half the floors on top of the subfloors and then goofy sloping floors and, ya, I am sure there is more but Dave is out there not I.

Why didn't we just demo and build?

Oh ya, cause we live on a cable guy and artist income. Riiiight.

We are 'those' folks. And yes it should be very interesting and quirky once it is done.

I am so excited about that!

Can't you just see all the potential!!

I am giddy!

Hudsy

Six and a half months old.

And totally delicious.

All 20 + lbs of him. And he looks exactly like the photo of my husband I have here, well, minus the curly red hair.

Mmmmm, I love me some chubby baby!

Night!

Joy in little things.

Once again I am full of randomness. If I could just get on here more often it might help but I think I am finally catching up. This should mean that if I am able to post again any time soon I can start telling you about some of the other things going on here, like in my head, however that is heavy and not all sorted out yet.

That can wait though because I just want to get the photos updated and share the fun stuff!

We will skip the daily struggles and little fights and mess and just focus on the joys right now.

So....

A few weeks ago we got to meet a little friend and his mama (also a blogger).

This guy is almost a month younger than Hudson and bigger. Well taller anyway and a bigger head too, though Hudson has all the plumpness going on!

We stuck them on the floor and watched them roll around and giggle as they checked each other out. Little people are soooo cute, I am just in love with them!

And then there was a birthday or 5, but this birthday was for my cousins little guy and she was going to be in town from Idaho for it.

My Aunt called and wondered if I could make a cake, cowboy theme. Oooo, I love to make cakes so I started to come up with ideas.

Of course they all involved fondant and lots of color and little detail and well .... I had never worked with fondant before and wasn't even sure where to get it. I had watched quite a few cake competitions and cake making shows though on Food TV, how hard could it be?

Ha, ha, not as easy as it looked!

For my first attempt I think it turned out fine, but I know what I would do differently next time, there is a learning curve for sure!

I was a little nervous about it, I could just see the imperfections and seams and yikes, how would it even taste?! I am soooo not a professional!

And then I remembered that there had to be something messy for Tucker to dig into and get all iced up and covered in cake, this was his first birthday after all and his first cake experience!

He wasn't so sure of the whole thing once he saw it.

And then wouldn't have anything to do with digging in and getting messy. He wanted to be fork fed! It was a hoot watching my cousin beg him to just dig in already!

And then there are paintings. A few more completed and this time dropped off at the store.

They are up for grabs still if anyone is interested....and they are over here for more info.

And Hudson. He cut another tooth yesterday and has had a few whiny days this week. Not what we are used to at all but totally understandable once I stuck my finger in his mouth and felt that second sharp little tooth.

Explains all the drool too.

However this does not explain why suddenly he doesn't like his car seat so much anymore.

Hmmm......

"Cheeeeese!"

Ha, ha, Ethan. This is his painting face. Kaitlyn has her thing where she opens and closes her mouth with ever chomp of the scissors on paper, but Ethan, he has a painting lip that he flaps as he paints.

I seriously cannot get enough of it!

And Em. Don't you love catching people off guard with crazy shots that you can use at their wadding, I mean wedding?

And then she tries to redeem herself.

First snow day! We went over to a friends parents place to play on a fresh snow hill.

For a cold day it was still worth it.

There is no better way to take advantage of the white stuff!

Now skipping on to the next thing and I cannot think of a graceful way to get to this.

Ever take a shot like the one above. Where your colour is all off?

I used to always plop photos into photo shop to fix but over the last two years have been doing the easy stuff in iphoto.

Before-above.

After-below.

Edited in iphoto.

Princess.

And over a week ago now we headed out to another relatives place...my second cousins, who is only 10 days older than Kaitlyn! I know, weird, but we have some generation gaps here.

Her mom, (my friend) made them edible peanut butter play dough to play with and eat. It was funny to watch because my kids just could not grasp the idea of eating play dough.

In other news around here we have been getting ready for Christmas still. Slowly.

It has been a bit of an experience, even the whole idea of the celebration and the decor and the stories. I understand why some families do not celebrate at all, I also understand those that do and the whole range in between. What a lot to think about and sort out mentally....or just not think about and have fun!!

So we got to work with polymer clay building teeny tiny little animals and people and a manger, which had the star broken off of it right away before it was even cooled completely and snatched up by little hands.

I had the idea of giving the children one each day leading up to Christmas as an advent type of adventure instead of chocolate.

The idea lasted one day and they were swooped away before all the faces or eyes could even get painted on.

They are just too much fun to play with every day as a set.

The tree got set up and decorated.

Hot chocolate and stories by the fire soaked up.

And of course there have been a few tragedies including collectible ornaments. At first we were upset but quickly realized that they are only little material possessions and although we find them pretty and fun they really do not mean much. So the playing ensued. And that is so much more worth it! Getting to play with special things that you only get to see once a year is well, special!

The rooms have been decked out with lights.

And sleepovers have been....interesting.

A few nights ago Dave ended up in Ethan's bed and all three children were in bed with me. Every time I woke up I was between different children. It was kind of strange and not so fun and I had a very stiff neck but it was snuggly and I won't complain about that!

The manger scene has had many interesting and colourful visitors.

And Hudson again, look at those legs. Munchable!

Village painting with a lot of help.

I have yet to complete one piece since having children, but have about 20 started ones with very colourful splatters all over them in an box.

Another painting completed and delivered.

A few favourite ornaments.

And the seasonal sewing has begun. Last year I was on an owl theme and this year for some reason we have ended up with monsters instead.

And they are going over well.

And that is it. We are into the seasonal swing of things. Not sure exactly what I think of all the aspects of these holidays but for now am focusing on the fun things we can do and making memories with the children. Right now it is all about them and being at home....and I am loving that!

Happy season folks. Whether you celebrate in one way or another or avoid the whole thing and just relax, enjoying the Lord and thinking of His birth and life and death and what it means. However the children keep reminding us that Santa is going to come out the "fire pit" and Ethan asks every other day or so if he came yet, because "he will!''

Ahhh, and then I just want to have fun with the whole thing and watch their little faces!

So I think I will.

Now I am going to light a fire, my fingers are numb and the children have finished rearanging the newly set up village, time for hot chocolate and some snuggles!

Walkin' back through time cause that is all I can do...

...while my husband takes apart the pipes connecting to our tub. I for one am glad this is happening, it has been days since my last bath and I am dying to hunker down for a good soak with a good book. You see for the last few weeks, or month or so the tub has not been draining well. It seems to take at least 6-8 hours to drain and then the sludge left behind from soaps is disgusting! I was able to clean it and flush it with a cup or two of water before the water would come back out the drain and this worked for a while. Until I did a body scrub with a detoxifying mask and then there was no hope. The sludge from the mask, ugh!

So finally tonight Dave...he just came back upstairs now from working on the pipes and he is carrying the rankest bucket with a spoon and a washcloth in it. Whew, clearing the house!! Wow, I cannot believe a cloth that got sucked down could cause such a problem, but now I have a bath again, yay, I can hardly wait to clean it!

Anyway, on with what I was stalling with while I waited for the bath.

More photos from the archives. These were taken on my birthday and ones I also forgot about and meant to include in the last post. I had forgotten that it was one of the most awesomely warm almost t-shirt weather days in the middle of November! 17th to be specific.....I just might quiz you on this next year;-)

The afternoon sun beckoned so we headed out for a little stroll down the alley. Don't ask why but this is just what we do. Well, ok. We are alley walkers. Sometimes I like to find treasures that people kindly leave next to garbage bins but really it is just nice to have the room to run and no traffic. Also seeing homes from the back end is kinda like looking at personalities. You can see more what people are like from their back yards. If they collects junk, and cars and wood and bags of stuff or if they have flowers and benches and a garden and compost. Ornaments in their trees, gnomes or fairies, silk plants....yah. You know they are old then, like really old and probably single.

Totally sidetracked. Sorry.

Back to the lovely walk.

I like to get attractive photos of my children, especially when they can't fight me!

We (I) decided to take a few family photos with our Christmas card in mind.

Thank you fence posts and garbage bins and the self timer for these.

Now skip ahead 6 days.......Yes I had walked away mid post to have my bath and didn't make it back for 6 days.

So fast forward to today.

Ooops. Tub is still fixed, yay!

Anyway.....(also on a side note. I cannot find my address book so your card might be sitting on my table for a while, sorry.)

Now back to my 'anyway......'

Ya, we had a few outtakes. Blame it on the stinky compost corner post that I wanted to run from rather than hang around and fiddle with the camera on.

And then we had one that we could use. This is not the colour it ended up after printing but I am saving that outcome for when and if the cards ever get delivered. Oh, and I kindly photo shopped my showing butt to have jeans on it.

You are welcome!

And now on with Christmas preparations and the COLD temperature outside.

A great excuse to stay cosy and warmly wrapped up in blankets by a fire all day. Which is what we do since our house is so poorly insulated. Ok, ok, not all day, but how nice would that be!!

Ethan has a heater in his room now since it gets so cold there, his blankets freeze to the wall. There is ice three inches up the windows and cold drafts and a pop can sitting a foot away from the back door (inside) exploded because it froze. However like a friend stated to me earlier tonight, it is so nice to be able to make and enjoy tea whenever you want!

Not only that but it is so pretty out there with the snow and the frost and the crisp air and the heated seats in our new (not working so well right now) truck.

I am embracing it this year baby and am going (to try really hard) to see God's beauty and humor in the whole situation.

Some of our gift ideas are coming to life. Home made bath soaks have been brewing and a few other goodies too. Now then they might just end up sitting here too if I cannot find that address book, or I suppose I could make a few phone calls;-)

I have great help. We may be a few vials shorter than I had planned but the extra mess was worth it.

Gonna go publish this finally, night all!!!!

I had a birthday...

...and somehow the photos got shuffled and I forgot about posting them!

I celebrated more of a birthday week and now I wish I could do that every week but then it would get old and wouldn't be so special and there would be no clean dishes or laundry and that is already a stretch on normal days!

So....

Dave has a way of making me feel, well, special. Yes, this is part of the reason I married him, but there is more to him than that, trust me. On my birthday he took the day off, let me sleep in, made breakfast, helped the children make me a massive card with sweet secrets all over it and then sent me to the spa for a hot lava stone message followed by dinner out and then dessert at my parents.

Then to round out the week he stayed home while I went out with a few girlfriends to celebrate my last year in my 20's.

Thank you my dear friends for the awesome night and Dave.....love you!

(And if you wonder why this photo is so blurry......mr. waiter, you don't need to mess with the focus when it is in auto!)

sorry for the sap...it was a gooder and you (I) just need it every once in a while!

Pictures and prayers

No more custom orders, well, almost none! I have only two left to complete that I have committed too and then I am scott free!

See what I have been up to here. There are a few missing still but they are on the camera still sooo.....you know.

I feel like a burden is being lifted with them in a strange way. Even though I love to paint I am excited to dig back out the sewing machine, it has been nearly a year!

So how about something light tonight!

Pictures of our offspring's will do?

OK!

Going way back to batches of photos that have been sitting around for a month.

We like to dress up here, no occasion needed!

We also like to crank the tunes and get our groove on!

You know this though.

We also like to snuggle.

And hang out.

And we really like babies.

How can we not!

He is the happiest baby ever!!

Never cries....unless he hasn't eaten for hours and then it is a whimper as he waits and then he will just suck his hand.

But even then he is distracted easily by a smile.

Oh, and on the news front.....he cut his first tooth today!!!

And of course he is always getting loved...

by a few certain other little people.

Now if we ever get bored then of course there is entertainment, thank you E-man!

Or there are crafts to work on with friends.

This was part of our memory tribute for our little day of the dead get together.

And if all else fails we paint.

And then sometimes I have to sit back and just look at my little life. OK, more like go back through my archives here, but same thing. I am so grateful. And blessed. Sometimes we don't realize how much we really have until we step back and look. I should never complain!

(smacking myself upside the head now) However I sure have my moments where I feel like I am going to explode. They are far outweighed by the awe moments though.

I want to remember these moments. All of em. For ever!

Cause they go by so fast! They put what really matters into perspective!

I can hardly remember what it was like to hold Kaitlyn as a baby and now we are working through workbooks and puzzles. And discussing why it is NOT ok to swear!

And Ethan is showing his independence and watching him try to be brave is the most precious thing.

Ahhhh, motherhood and the crazy moments we get to see and commit to our hearts and memory banks = priceless!

~~~

Now on a very serious side note I have a relative who is extremely ill. Clinging to life with little hope and she is in her early twenties. She needs desperate and fervent prayer!

Here is a link to read a little more. There are more complications too but this will give you a little info. Any prayer is appreciated. She is one sweet girl.

Thank you!

Healthy?

Ever get fed up with hearing stuff?

Environmental and health stuff?

Do you just go along with it and think that what you hear is gold or do you dig to see the other side?

I sometimes just go along with what I hear as long as it sounds good. And then I watch shows on how things are made.Yah.

And then after subscribing to a certain health site and having correspondents with the author I started to wonder about a lot of things.

OK, I wondered before I 'talked' with him but it really sparred my research into scientific sites and gave me more of an urge to search out both sides of all the stories.

What is healthy, what is good for us?

Did you know that the health and 'green' movement is a huge cash cow? No. Really!

OK. We all do and want in on it, I know!

Oh, I do think that there are great things to be gleaned from both environmental and health discoveries to make our lives healthier but where do you draw the line?

I try (try but do not always succeed, we are renovating the cottage) to draw it when I see companies promote gadgets to protect you from your gadgets and extra cleaners to clean what you have already cleaned and stuff to replace old not 'green' stuff.

Hmmm, in that case wouldn't it make more sense to just keep the old and not create more waste by throwing it out and buying the new 'green' stuff? Wouldn't that be less wasteful?

What about the process that new stuff goes through to become that 'green' product? In a lot of cases it is just as harmful as the process the non 'green' product goes through. Like eco friendly cars for instants. Go read up on those funky batteries and see. Read the whole process it goes through from the mining to the plants, across the ocean on a freighter and back, and all the other steps in between. Mmm, hmm...

And recycled stuff. I am all about it but remember that the process from one old piece of junk to the next is not so green. Maybe better than throwing it in the trash but can it be upcycled or repurposed?

Some people are into not having microwaves, some computers, some don't live near power lines, some don't use cell phones, some don't eat meat, some don't use lawn mowers. Some people don't sleep near an alarm clock and move their beds to the middle of the room to get away from power outlets. Some don't listen to the radio or drive cars, some don't eat processed foods and some don't watch TV's all to avoid certain waves and emissions and frequencies and pollutants and I could go on and on. I am sure eventually I will hit at least one area that concerns us all.

I haven't got you yet, let's try again.

Do you not worry about the emissions from the paint on the walls?

The stains on your wood, the carpet, or the fabrics in your home? Your side walk?

What about your appliances and hair dryer or your detergent, light bulbs, vacuum?

Your keyless remote, ceiling fan or camera?

What kind of shopping bags do you use? Whatever they give you, the ones you bought that are reusable or do you sew up something from some old fabric kicking around the house?

Think about the process.

What about diapers or wipes or soaps?

(I am totally not pointing fingers here, really! I think I have all this stuff!)

Or hey, your counter top, is it concrete, what kind(?), tile, or a solid surface, is it a laminate? Then what are it's emissions or off gases, or if you have granite, the radon emissions must concern you. No? It is pretty though isn't it!

Or what about your food? Ooooo, this is a biggie!

Your water, what kind do you drink?

And your supplements, you must take something, or not, how we are created by God is good for you? Are you sure? No vitamins, nothing? Interesting.

How about vaccines, or medications?

Alcohol? Mmmm, I could go for a glass of wine right about now!

Do you recycle? Compost? Drink raw milk? Go for grass fed? Free range?

How about when you choose to read the paper online to save a tree but then you are exposing yourself to EMF waves (I think that is what they are called, correct me if I am wrong...I am just shooting into the dark here with whatever pops onto my head) by sitting in front of your computer. How the heck do you know what to do? Health versus environment, but yet it is somehow one, ack!!

See, we all have one area that would create some controversy with friends. Isn't this what makes us unique, beautiful? Our differences. What we choose to be our personal convictions, not God convictions in a spiritual way but the ones that we make because we think we are helping ourselves or our environment somehow.

And in one way or another handing over our hard earned cash to the government or a corporation or someone who is laughing all the way to some hot gorgeous destination while we freeze our butts off and down whatever it is that we ordered from them.

Oh, right, I almost forgot about the dirt under your house. It could contain an multitude of electromagnetic forces or radon or something, anything really.

Better get a tree house. Oh, but, but.......

I must stop!

Hello, where the heck do we stop? We do have to live. Life is just not as simple as it was a few thousand years ago. And we think that all this stuff is making life better, easier and less stressful.

Not convinced here.

Should we not just be thrifty and not waste so much and maybe shop local when possible and grow our own food when possible and not worry about so much?

Doesn't worry effect our health?

Maybe we could just be content.

Hmmm.....

I wish I could do this. I strive for contentment. I think I am there sometimes but then I love convenience and interesting things, no matter how they are made. When it comes to the environment there are things I would love to do but I also cannot afford the solar panels up front nor is it practical for me to strap my three children on a pedal bike in -30C to get around to lessen my impact.

So we all make concessions and do different things that work for us in our own books. But why? Who made us feel guilty about what we were doing? Media? Friends? A seminar or speech? God?

Funny isn't it what we choose to use our energies to focus on?

What is it that really matters?

What about relationships and spirituality and mental health?

Ah, balance, where is the balance?

Seriously though. This is the stuff that runs through my head at any given moment when I hear someone talk about what they are doing.

All the 'what abouts'.

Not that this is bad, no, some of it challenges me for sure, but this is how my brain spins and I am actually not keeping up to what I am thinking as I type.

So I just smile and nod. :-)

Yo!