Thursday, March 13, 2008

Feeding off the energy

Warning: I am feeling very rambly, you might need a bit of time for this one.

I have been thinking a lot lately. The last few posts and comments are what got it started. It is true that the internet is a public place. We are all allowed our opinions and can say whatever we like.
The part that got to me was that this is my space, I reveal a lot and am raw.  To be bashed when all I was doing was venting was disheartening. I should not feel the need to defend myself, this is my space. However I have been thinking like crazy about a zillion things.

I will start here.

 I know that I am blessed. I am reminded of it every moment everywhere I look. I know that there is so much misfortune out there in the world and so many people who are hard up or have issues or illness.
You know that commercial with the guy standing in his kitchen in the dark and he goes to turn on the light and when he does his house disappears?
Then it flips back and forth and then a slogan pops with a statistic about choosing shelter or electricity and stats of people who have to make this choice in Canada every day.

I think about that. All my needs are met and we have good health. I really should not complain. 
However this is my space and I still get down sometimes. I vent here because I have felt that it is a safe place and it works it's way off my chest here.

I considered quiting blogging. Is it worth it when I share what I go through and what I feel only to be judged and attacked?

My heart was so  sad. I tried to be strong and not let it affect me, show an alligator skin. 
That is not me. It did hurt. Like I was being kicked in the gut.

I walked away from the computer determined to not let it ruin my day. We would go out and have fun instead.

After coming back and seeing all the comments and e-mails from friends, family and my husband. Some who I now hold much dearer to my heart. I almost wept. My heart felt so big and loved.

Thank you, you are amazing, after seeing the support I had from those who truly know me, and even some who don't but are so sweet anyway. I felt like I was floating on a cloud, you sure know how to make a girl feel loved!

So I got to thinking about why I blog. It all started as a way to keep friends and family who live far away updated. Then it became a place and a way for me to unwind and relax and log our life. It took the place of scrap booking and journaling for me. It became my 'me' time.
Then in the midst of all this I discovered an incredible community of people, many who have become friends, and some who have crossed from the virtual world to my real world.

I love these friends. For me being a stay at home mom blogging has become my escape and I come away refreshed and with a sense of connection.
I may not have the dishes done and there may be a load of laundry starting to stink in the washer but the sense of adult connection that I need is fulfilled. (Not the husband kind of need , hee, hee, tisk.)

I would loose my mind without this escape.

I decided that you friends are too precious to give up, the reasons I do this is worth the rough spots. I love you guys!
I will grow a tougher skin. 

Anyway, I am getting all sappy and mushy inside thinking about you, (and it is not the wine) so now I will catch you up with all the fun that we have been having while I avoided the computer.

The kids and I headed to the mall for the afternoon.
Ethan latched on to my gal pal, aren't they cute!
The girls ran from store to store checking everything out.
We hit the library for a bit and ended up leaving shortly after arriving.
Some lady brought her child with a terrible cold in just as we were getting settled. This little girl, poor things, was coughing and sneezing all over the books and her hands. She was so stuffed up she could hardly breath and had snot running down her lip. 
She was school age so I guess she was sparing those kids but please, come on!

We grabbed our kids and ran.
The poor girl looked so sad and tired. Why would she get dragged out? I wanted to hug her....with a rain coat on though.

Now I would normally have a few things to say about this but the moms who believe in carrying on no matter what or how sick will slay me for sure.

Do whatever you want. I will just drag mine away really fast and whip out my disinfecting wipes.

We went back out into the mall and had more fun watching the kids browse.
I think they had fun too.
To keep my mind off the wild fire in my comments I put my energy into a gourmet meal.
I want to share the recipe for the chicken. Another post, this i=one is already way too long.....I will add it to my list of posts to do. 
It was sooooo yummy!
Then we had a pool party before whisking the kids to bed.
Then I blogged.
The next morning we had all just emerged from the bath when the door bell rang.
A package, yipeeeee!!!
I knew it would be a great day.
Pretty new clothes and piles of underwear and swim wear. My husband rocks!!!!
He sure knows how to make me feel special!
We then headed down town to check out the location of a funky Salon that has invited me to showcase my art in their space.
It is a hip, trendy place and I am so excited. I have been drawing  up all my plans for the art to go in there. Fun!
Then we headed to the laundromat and had all our comforters washed. Stopped by a boutique bakery for treats and the made a jaunt through this funky little store.
I came away with a few retro table clothes. One for summer pic-nic's ($3) and one for Kaitlyn and Ethan's tea parties ($1) how can you go wrong with prices like that. I am soooo going back there for more!

Now this post is about as long as I am tall so I will quite with the photo's.
I do have to add this one last one though. 
I posted the background pic last night and here is the finished product. I giggled a little when a few of you said you liked it. My sister did too. Then I was worried that if they were liked the way they were that I might ruin them by continuing my vision for them.
I hope I didn't ruin them.
TT liked them the way they were and said she would put them on a mantle with a few accessories. So when I painted on them I bounced what I did off her. She approved, whew!!

You know what...with all that comment activity the other day I really got an energy from it. It is odd but I kind of fed off the energy and put it to work. My house is almost clean!
I am painting again and feeling so alive. This is odd considering the little sleep I am getting, ugh!
This reminds me though of something a friend said to me a few weeks ago. She also had little sleep with her children and would pray that the Lord would give her the strength that she needed to get through. 
Even though she would wake up with dark circles and sluggish she says she would plug away because she must have gotten enough. 
I pray too and have always just figured He didn't answer the sleep ones, but in truth I always manage, He does give me just enough strength to make it. Cool huh!

Now the spring like weather might have something to do with my feeling alive as well, but all I can say is yay!


mamatucci said...

keep your chin up, sounds like alot of fun you guys have been having! (my little guy now has croup) so I am understanding you on the no sleep. Guess thats why I am writing this at 3:41 am!!!!

hannah said...

Yeah, don't stop blogging! I only just found you and I don't want to lose you!

That chicken looks GOOD!

And your hubby is so sweet, buying you new clothes and stuff!

Family Adventure said...

Hey, Anna...I go away for a few days and you start a blogging tempest! I'm impressed :)

I skimmed through all the anon comments in the post-of-dread. Clearly you've hit the Big League when you can incite this type of passion.

Canadian healthcare is a sore spot for many of us, but I think it's also a source of pride - when it works the way it should.

It's OK for a commenter to have a different opinion, as long as it is written in a manner that fosters dialogue and discussion. I wish the 'anon' person in question would have done so, but since s/he didn't, you can only ignore it and move on.

Which you are doing beautifully :)


PS: And can I just say I love a man who speaks up for his wife in such an eloquent manner. Dave rocks!!

Kami said...

Grrr. blogger just sucked my comment into oblivion.

Don't stop blogging! I would hound you endlessly on email so really it wouldn't be to your benefit ;-)

I like the paintings even more now! Oops. Can you tell I am an accountant?

Yay for Dave! Not only does he stand up for you, he buys you cute clothes too. As you know, he's a keeper!

See you soon :-)

Kimberley said...

Hey! I just went to retrovise too! Thats funny. I've never been there before but I loved it! There was a lamp I was really tempted to buy but it was 75$ and I don't really have anywhere to put it. I have WAY too many lamps already. lol

Catharine said...

I LOVE your latest painting. I am sure if you hang that in a store it will be snapped up very quicklY! Keep up the great job ou are doing....being a mom, wife, painter, blogger etc. You are amazing!

leanne said...

i love the paintings! you are so talented!
PS found your blog thru Chatty's. you probably don't know me but i live in BC and used to come to calgary for the conference in the springtime and i think i met some of your family there.

Glenda - Minnesota said...

Glad to see you all back and looking so healthy.

By the way... your hubby rocks! That is sooo sweet of him to have got you all that stuff!

realworldmartha said...

It's amazing how quickly something can be taken the wrong way esp in writing. I had a similar experience on my blog to the point where it was taken so far from where I meant it that I had to remove it. I learned my blogging leason and try only to respond to people, even if they disagree, if I think there intent is good. I just say thanks for the comment to the others and move on. It's tough as I am sensative but sometimes people just come on the attack and don't even know me. Hope your situation gets resolved and you get some peace with it.
Aka The Real World Martha(S)

BeachMama said...

I am so happy you decided to stick around :). I know how you can feel so violated by anonymous comments. As I said before, they don't know you. And I personally find those anonymous people must be chicken.

Anyhooo, back to reality. You are still one busy gal. Your Hubby does Rock with all that fabulous stuff. My Hubs wouldn't even think of it! And the trip to the mall looked like lots of fun.

Glad you guys are all feeling better!