My brain buzz at 2 am

Dude loves his morning coffee. Well he thinks he does.

 What he is guzzling:

- a few drips decaf coffee, warm water, 3/4 cups milk and a splash of caramel vanilla flavoring.

So as I mentioned  before we have been busy. I would rather not do this kind of updaty post since I really wanted to do a goofy bath time story but for my own sanity I have to get this stuff out first.

When I don't the pictures that are sitting there waiting for stories keep bumping around in my head at crazy hours in the night and then all the stuff I should be thinking about gets pushed aside. 

Not that I should be thinking anything in the middle of the night but it seems my body and mind just are not connecting very well these days.

It used to be that I would stay up until 1 or 2 am and get paintings done or blogging. My inspiration would hit between 11 pm and 2 am. Now I am crashing early, usually before midnight and then I wake up at 2 with my mind wiring. Sometimes I have to get my sketch book and just doodle and make notes for half an hour or until my mind settles. My body is beat and my brain is going nuts inside.

 Tonight I am up blogging instead, so be warned, I might be a little blabby and there might be a few typos since my fingers and pretty sleepy and don't keep up very well.

Now lets get on with this, my body is conking out.

My little sister Em had a birthday a few weeks ago and had requested a pencil case and crayons. I let her rummage through my scraps and choose the fabric and then made something I thought she might like. 

With a pocket for stickers, scissors and glue and then little pockets for pencils, pens or crayons I hope it gives her the storage she needs. I think if I make another one I might try planning it more than an hour before the party.

After the birthday party the fresh snow and mild temperatures drew us outside.

Dave cleared the snow off the swing set...

and after some good swinging we headed out front to build a fort.

And get rides down the snowbank in the sled.

Then we built tunnels and went for a sunset walk.

A few days later Kaitlyn decided to surprise me with a gift.

Ethan was napping and Kaitlyn and I were putzing, she was crafting and I was painting.

Usually she glues things and cuts paper and then sticks stickers all over everything.

This day was different.

She fiddled with paint and a foam ball. Got out the pipe cleaners and then presented me with a "fiiiider" (spider) and attached it to the dining room chair. 

This is the first time she really created something. Something that I didn't teach her or help with. Her own creation. My prize forever!

The next few days flew by with outings, birthday parties for little friends, paintings and those dreaded house plans.

This is that roll of canvas I mentioned before. We had to move the furniture to unroll it and here it is with the base coat rolled on. More on this as it progresses.

Between coats and dry time it gets rolled up and stuck to the side so we can walk in our house and get other pieces prepped. 

Oh, the house planning. Right. All this paper mess is dreams and ideas for our possible new house.

We had hoped to reno our cottage and do an addition but after a visit from my architect uncle those dreams were dashed. The reno's would set us back further than building. So the planning began. If we can get plans that work with our budget we hope to build on our second lot and then tear down the old cottage after it is complete. Of course the dream is to live out there, selling the city house but we are forever debating what we could do. The next month is the month we hope to have a decision and quotes. We may just end up staying put or we might take the plunge, though to tell the truth building scares the crap out of me!

Seeing the plans I have worked endless hours on would be neat, but what if I hate it in real life, this freaks me out...and then there are all the decisions. Moldings, countertops, light fixtures, sinks.....ack, the list is huge, how the heck do some of you do this!???

Renovating is one thing, we did that with the last house and had a blast, but building, my stomach is in knots!

So when I get too worked up over the whole thing I tune it out with fun stuff. Hanging out with the kids and doing anything that distracts seems to do the trick.....until 2 am.

But I don't want to think about the 2 am stuff now, I will take that out on my sketch book later....and sometimes Dave. Poor guy. I wake him up for the stupidest conversations. Like the other night I woke him up wondering about a trip that he took 8 years ago, for some reason I though I forgot to ask him how it went. 

I wake up in the morning and whack myself, once it is daylight it all seems so dumb, actually if I had put any thought into in the middle of the night I might have realized it was dumb and just rolled back over. Seriously, the things my mind wastes time on when I let it wander.

But when I coral it I have fun. Above is the inspiration for a little girl painting to go along with this little boy painting. 

Now I realize my mind is doing the blabber thing so I should get off of here while I can still redeem an ounce of dignity.

Thanks for hanging in there, I hope you enjoyed the ride!

It is now safe to unbuckle your seat belts and get off this crazy train.

Have a great day!

On the baby news front.

We really weren't going to tell anyone if we found out the sex of the baby. And we aren't.  By we I mean Dave and I.

 However we have a little girl in our house who happened to be at the ultra sound with us and has been quite eager to share the news.

If you are curious.... and I bet you must be dying to know what the ultra sound said. ;-)

After all it has been over a week since the appointment and my gosh I am just dying to get on here and get some stuff out.

Anyway, for the curious, Kaitlyn has been quite eager to share the news, so if you want to know just watch to video below.

Duh-duh-duh-duuuh...

This is it for now, I hope to be back shortly with a post on all that is new, paintings, (there are a few new ones over here) house plans and outings.  The house plans are what have been eating all my time. I have been spending endless hours trying to get plans fine tuned so we can get the building of the new lake house underway. And then the paintings. I'll have pictures in my next post. If you follow me on twitter (not that I am on often though) you may have heard that the canvas is massive.... over 4 meters long! However it is on a roll, un-stretched, more on that later though, I have to get the rough drafts sent off for approval. 

I miss you all and thank you for the awesome comments, you are like family! I wish I could get around and pass the love back, I get to read sometimes but it is usually with kids hanging off and typing a comment would kill me. I always plan to get back, and then life takes over. Just know I am there! :-)

Burrowing in my 'studio'

I don't know if you have noticed but I have been a little busy....a little absent.

The reason?

I am totally not avoiding anyone, I wish I could get around every day but I am up to my eye balls in projects.

Above is one custom order completed, yay!

Two more are on the go and an order for three came through with the deposit today.

When this happens I disappear into my studio (aka my dining room floor and table) every spare moment I get. However between the kids, the house and my need for more sleep than ever the moments are fleeting.

I try to steal them when Dave walks through the door or when he is getting the kids cleaned up from dinner.

For a few days I had all my canvas and paints on the floor and was sitting cross cross legged with kids hanging off trying to get them prepped.

After Kaitlyn got into wet paint and did a nice little black footprint and purple hand print dance all over the floor (for which she was so proud) I cleaned off the table and moved up.

Controlled mess is what we are after here. Although the foot prints were quite cute.

I have made the request that when I get my proper studio built in our new house that I get cement floors so we can splatter and paint all we want.

I am tired of freaking out over paint on clothes, walls, floors and bodies.

During the days though I am finding it rather hard to find moments to paint. I tried one afternoon to get a moment by  plopping them in front of the TV and begging them to watch it.  But they they would rather be doing whatever I am doing.

So to avoid the temptation of the paints and to get some time out we head out.

For milkshakes....

and coffee.

My cup this day....I could have written it. Then again reading it was a good reminder to me as well. Kinda like a slap upside the head that day.

Anyway...about writing it.... I am definitely not that eloquent with my speech nor with my type. I am reminded of this every time I reread a post the next day. I am such a dim whit when it comes to putting words together I am surprised and flattered when any of you come back....and I hope it is not to laugh at my poor grammar.

Surprisingly I actually did really well in English class in high school and even tutored ESL students for a few years. I just seem to have forgotten everything in the last 10 years.

Dave says the problem is that I try to type what I see in my brain and somewhere the connection gets lost.

Nice guy.

But he is totally right!  Hallmark seems to say so well what I wish I could and then when I get around to reading other blogs I feel like crawling under a rock. Some of you really have a way with words and I wish you could come translate from my brain what I wish I could say.

Does that make any sense?

See what I mean!

Anyway the coffee was good. Decaf and loaded with extra caramel drizzle for the kids to scoop off with their stir sticks. Mmmmm.

Now I just got the chills, for real.

It is so blasted cold out there. 

On the nicest day in weeks we headed out to play in the snow.

It really did not go over well.

Kaitlyn lasted about three minutes before announcing she was done and would go in and watch from the  front door window. 

And we followed her in.

Poor kids are as wussy as I am when it come to the cold.

Oh, I almost forgot, I had a story to share.

I have to document it so I don't forget it.

The other night Kaitlyn and Ethan were measuring things around the living room. Ethan was announcing that everything was "2" and Kaitlyn was sure it was "18".

She then turned to Dave and stretched her tape as wide as she could and said, "daddy, I want to measure how funny you are."

I nearly died. 

The half way bump and twinkle toes

I stood in front of Kaitlyn's mirror and realized that it looks like I have a rabbit hanging from my butt.

So I moved it. Now I just look polka dotty, however those dots are actually from Kaitlyn. She licks the rubber ring that holds her bunny to the mirror and has moved it a few times.

Could be some slobbery kisses too.

Oh, and the boob. That big orange blob in the left hand corner. Yup, boobage up close.

Better.  So that is the baby bump. 20 weeks and I feel really huge already. I have gained close to what I gained total while carrying both Kaitlyn and Ethan. Then again I barely gained anything in the last half of either of those pregnancies.

And yes, this is it.  We were happy with two but had always talked about having three. Our quiver full. Actually I really don't know how we will do it. I just cannot imagine at this point what three will be like and it kinda overwhelms me and makes my head spin and want to fall off when I try to think about it.  Then again I felt that way before #1 and #2 as well.  Kinda panicky and anxious and all giddy inside.

But once 1 and 2 were home and settled the feelings wore off. Slightly. I still feel kinda skittish and giddy when I think about the responsibility of raising them. Thinking about talking about sex and the realities of the world and homework, yikes, I feel like running into the bathroom, throwing up and then shoving them back where they came from.

But then I push those thoughts to the back of my mind and focus on the day to day. I know that those moments will come and they won't be dropped on me like a bomb in the middle of the night. We will work up to them and talk about them and strategize.....I think. 

I sure hope we feel somewhat prepared when the time comes.

Focusing on the day to day is far more fun than worrying about something I shouldn't be worrying about anyway.

And the focus last night was on slippers. Fairy ballet slippers.

I have never made shoes before let alone fairy ballet slippers. So we traced her feet and started cutting felt.

I think they turned out a little fairy-elfis but they fit and lit up a little face.

They aren't as ballerina pretty as I hoped but to Kaitlyn they are perfect.

I love how she loves without judgment or criticism.

So innocently.

My little twinkle toes girl who is forever squishing my belly. Between her and Ethan I sometimes wonder if we are going to have a pancake baby, poor little thing.